Little Dreams

As the day bids farewell and the night proceeds to take over, I sat alone in an empty basketball court and ponder over my life. All these days I had been so busy with work, home and had not even a minute to myself. I think about all the lovely days and the ugly ones that have made me what I am today. I look at the orange horizon and smell the warm air which immediately rejuvenates me.

I think about my life and where I had started from. I always used to crib and complain about my life being unfair. And now, I laugh at my past self and take the criticism and the compliment equally. Every day I lived my life has made me stronger and I couldn't ask for more. All this while I had been busy working and struggling with my emotions, but now its the time to fulfill those little dreams which mean a lot to me. Those sweet little dreams which I had been saving for this while and now I can convert them into reality. Now all of them can really come true. As I watched the birds returning to their places at dusk, I thought I should also make a move. I stood up and looked at the vacant court and the empty net, and smiled. 

It was finally time for new beginnings, new hopes, new dawns. It was time for realizing dreams ans more importantly, it was time for dreaming about something new altogether.

Limited Unlimited

A very vague thought surfaces itself when I think about my present life. Its as if my life had just swept off my feet and sent me a a notification later on, saying that it had gone forever this time. Sometimes when such life-churning things happen, I often feel offended by life. I feel as though I have been cheated on by life. It comes to me as a day-mare and almost instantly everything I built is gone within seconds. I had built a castle in the sand and one day it just vanished. It flew away from me and told me it was just a random dream which couldn't come true. This is what makes me feel that life is so unlimited yet so limited. It does not always mean that we do not spend time with life. It means that in that limited amount of time, we should live and love our lives. We should experience the good and the bad, the rough and the smooth, all together and emerge out as a person who is holistic in every approach. So, get up and live your lives as much as you can.

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The Smell of Color

I sat down to paint. This was my first time after six long months. I had not seen paints, pencils in a pretty long time. I was afraid to touch them, feel them again. I still remember when I sat with colors for long hours, felt them and enjoyed their company. The very smell of them enticed me to play with them in a whole new way. I spread my cartridge sheet on the floor and took out my colors. I waited for the blank sheet to say something to me. I stared at it for some time until I could see birds flying and hear the sound of water gurgling. I picked up red color and mixed it with blue to create a purple hue. The purple touched the sheet and gave me energy to create new shades. I splashed a watery deep blue and dropped pink on it. I let the sheet dry and started again on another one. 


For the second one I dipped my fingers in Prussian Blue color, put it on the sheet and let the color flow from one edge of the sheet to another. The dark blue color slowly transformed itself into a lighter blue. I quickly made the ground with blue fingers and spread them with nails. When I dipped my finger into the glass bottle of the blue paint, I closed my eyes and let myself dream. I felt I was in ecstasy. The blue color melted on my finger and looked delicious. The next thing I did was to slowly smell the color on my finger. As I smelt it, I felt different. I felt I could never be this peaceful again. I wished this moment would never pass. I understood the smell of my colors, it was peace. I was at peace with them. The pure smell of colors are my release. Release from this world, this moment, this real life into a world of colors, a life full of vibrancy.


Everybody has a release, a way of letting yourself loose. Taking a moment off from the real life into a world of your own. Whenever we have a bit of time, we should always try and find out our release from our life and make peace with that moment. 

Dear Dilli

Our dear Delhi. Everybody remembers their memories in city, whenever they set their foot in Delhi. My first day in Delhi was when I stepped out of the Lucknow Mail at 7:00 am on 9th July,2006. The enormous railway station which had 12 platforms left me wide-eyed. Honestly, I had not seen the city before that but had heard enough to make a rough satisfactory image to which my school mates and I had mutually agreed upon. We had discussed about Delhi in our school days, created an image about our country's capital based on the secondary or tertiary information we had managed to come across. From horrifying rape cases to the 26th January parades on television, some stories were true and others were cooked up by the people who gave us the secondary information. When I had been selected in the Delhi centre of NIFT, I recalled all my information and thoughts I had formed some time back. Everything revolved in my head from India Gate to parades to Connaught Place and rapes! All of it came as a flash when I entered the city. 


My very first impression of Delhi was the wide space which it offered to my eye. Wide roads, large spaces, big buildings. There was so much greenery everywhere as I looked outside my auto and felt a mild smell which I associate with Delhi till date. 


Delhi has taught me everything. From being loving, caring to being blunt, everything. Delhi has given me unexpected things and I have learnt quite a lot here. From being with friends in GK II and enjoying to Ansal Plaza and sitting alone chewing on a Mac Veggie. It was as if I had entered a whole new world of various activities and a life so fast that it was hard to imagine that a person like me could adjust. Leave alone cultural shocks, the city was always so bling, so fast that I had no option but to run with it. The metamorphosis took some time and then I was completely transformed to an entire new person. 


I still remember the first time I saw the chhole-kulche vala and found it very strange but now whenever I am walking down the street, I try to find one. In this city of Delhi, peace is achieved amidst the chaos and confusion. I am still waiting for my peace.

From mother to daughter

I shall miss you dear, even though you were never there with me but your presence gave me a reason to live, which was enough for me. Your smiling eyes lightened mine and your innocent smile spoke of those unsaid feelings which will remain even when you are never going to come back. I'm never going to see you which feels so killing and yet I feel so strong because you have left a wise example for me. I really did not expect you to make this difference in my life. I might have not survived but I'm surprised that I did. You so unknown of life and its sorrows, lived, so patient and so lively but for a short while. Why did you leave me in this world to face the world without you and to see the world without your eyes, to smile and survive, without any reason, your warm hugs always made me feel so special, your voice, an eternal bliss. I do not say I will remember you, because I do not feel you are gone. Your everlasting fragrance will always make me live each day. Your sweet thoughts will make my each passing day fresher. You created a world for me and will always remain within me.

Priceless

Darkened sky, light drizzling, lush greenery all around. I was walking down the wet grey road, glancing at the yellow flowers on the sidewalk. I saw blurred traffic lights at a distance in the dense fog. Birds were flying back to their nests and amidst their humming sounds, I saw a brown car stop four steps away from me. A hefty lady stepped out and made her way to the store. 

I stood there watching people and their activities. It was not just any other day, it was a day when you wanted to sit on your window sill and enjoy the weather outside, when you wanted to watch rain brushing lightly against your face when you stood in the balcony. A little drop fell on my face and it gave me a new reason to live. 'This was a time to live', I told myself. So I stood there in the rain and let it wet my face. I thought about times when I had somebody to be on my side always, but now I had none. It is these little raindrops which give me a reason to live again. I stood there on the sidewalk and watched the rain streaming down and refreshing me. I saw black umbrellas, people running to shelter themselves, some even signalling me to run and hide. But I preferred to stand there and enjoy this heavenly experience. It had been quite a while since I had enjoyed the rain. Now there was no one for me, I was for no one. I faced up towards the sky and stood in the pouring rain. I wanted to gulp every single moment of happiness. There was thunder accompanied by lightning and it drew darker each second. As I saw the sky turning from blue to purple to nearly black, I realized that this rain was actually a release, a stress outlet which assisted in releasing all the mental pressure. And compared to all the priced things of the world, this moment was absolutely priceless. After a while, I felt better and realized how precious that moment was. I stood in the rain for some time and then crossed the road to get some shelter. A smile ran across my face as I thought of myself when I was at the other end of the road.


I walked down the sidewalk and found a coffee shop. I found the same hefty lady with her endless shopping bags, dripping wet. I went inside and ordered a regular cappuccino.