Serendipity

Out of remorse and regret, hiding my face in shame and covering my head with a layered veil of uncertainty, I walk out of the building hurriedly. I wait for the bus on the wet sidewalk, the rain forming droplets on my eyelashes. I try to look up at the grey sky and the buildings appear nothing more than blurry outlines. The feeling of losing something has deeply resided in me. I am afraid of losing even when I have nothing more to lose. I am here to board a bus to a city where I will always be unknown to everybody.

A yellow bus stops in front of me and a bird chirps. An old man coughs and I try not to acknowledge the fact that we are the only two people in the almost vacant sidewalk. A bird perches firmly on a tree behind me. There are mixed emotions flowing inside me at this moment. I hear a very familiar sound and try to give it some meaning. Unfortunately, there are certain things which are meant to be the way they are. At a distance, a dog barks and I see a red bicycle. It is a bit foggy and is about to snow. My lips are frozen and I am unable to speak. I am still thinking about the day when I met the stranger years back. Since then, I feel a lump in my throat and try to ignore it. I stand there but I think of the day when I ran after the car shouting on top of my lungs. Now I stand here and look at the old man and listen to the faraway dog. Memories float in my mind as I wait for the bus. 

I open my bag and pull out my umbrella as it starts to snow. All of a sudden, the umbrella slips from my hand and flies away. I see it going away from me and I do nothing. Everybody has left me and I have done nothing to prevent it. I follow the umbrella. The umbrella flies high, stoops low and then rises again. I sigh and move towards it. It enters an alley and lays on a rubbish heap. I slow down and lazily move towards it. Suddenly, there is a tap on my back. I feel a rush of blood within me. In a flash, I remember all the things which happened six years back. From the first meeting to the instant proposal and to the very hurried separation. I have not seen him in six years, not even once. I do not know where he is, what he did for a living, did he still love me. I do not have the power to re-think. I am very scared to turn around, as if I know that something very familiar has touched me. I can feel the hot breath on my neck. I feel insecure and comforting all at the same time.It feels as if serendipity was personified and was around me, laughing. A hand moves on my left side and I can see the tip of my lost umbrella. I see a blurred black umbrella in front of me while holding my own umbrella. For some unknown reason, I had followed it. I gather courage to turn around, still struggling with the thoughts and emotions only to find a person who had left me on the white porch. I try and look somewhere else. He makes no effort to say anything. He offers me his hand, I look in his eyes for a brief moment and we walk back to the bus stand leaving the black umbrella behind.